Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Mormon President Mitt Romney to Have Five First Ladies.

An outrageous conspiracy theory is making the rounds of the great gossip machine otherwise known as the Internet.

As a conspiracy expert told me in a phone conversation: "An unknown individual or organization is spreading the rumor that if Republican Mitt Romney wins the 2012 Presidential election, he will return to his family's ancient Mormon roots and take four additional wives for a total of five.

"He will also attempt to father 100 children during his Administration--meaning that Romney will need to double the size of the White House at taxpayers' expense!"


     Dead celebrities are just as f****d up in the Afterlife as they are on Earth, according to Dr. Abraham Tribesky, psychiatrist to deceased Hollywood stars.
     In his shocking new ebook, Michael Jackson is Being Harassed in Heaven ($2.99 Kindle), Dr. Tribesky reveals the tabloid-worthy lifestyles and outrageous opinions of his famous neurotics from the Other Side. Like:
     *Lady Gaga Banned from Rock 'n Roll Heaven
     *DJ Decapitates Fan with Flying Vinyl (Is Biggie's Ghost to Blame?)
     *Sinatra's Frank Advice for Justin Bieber.
     *Same Ghost Appears in 20 Episodes of Paranormal State!

     MICHAEL JACKSON IS BEING HARASSED IN HEAVEN, by Dr. Abraham Tribesky, psychiatrist to deceased Hollywood Stars ($2.99 Kindle).

The source continued, "I believe that voters can be reassured that these events are unlikely to happen. Romney knows that if he goes all in as a Mormon that there will be repercussions.

"Doubling the size of the White House to accommodate over 8 dozen newborns will ruin his reputation as a fiscal conservative. In addition, my back-of-the envelope calculations indicate that it would be physically impossible for Romney's five wives to give birth to 100 kids over four or even eight years, should he be re-elected after going full Mormon during his first term."

Hopefully, this clarification will put the bizarre rumors to rest. And prevent Romney's political opponents from spreading them further.

Abraham Tribesky
Psychiatrist to Deceased Hollywood Stars

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